


The Trials Of Being Emperor

by randomcheeses



Series: What if? [20]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-20
Updated: 2011-02-20
Packaged: 2017-10-15 19:23:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/164146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomcheeses/pseuds/randomcheeses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobody had warned him about this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Trials Of Being Emperor

He'd heard it all, oh yes.

"As emperor you will save our clan!"

"When young master is Emperor, our people will be protected!"

"If you become Emperor, our people will prosper and grow."

"We will be successful, rich and safe."

Yes, he'd heard it all and accepted such expectations as his duty to his clan. But there was _one_ thing they'd never mentioned.

###

"Lanfan."

"Yes, my Emperor?"

Ling sighed. "Lanfan, we are alone. And you are wearing something very distracting. Surely we can drop the titles for a little while."

"Of course. . . my Emperor."

Ling shot an irritated look at his bodyguard/sort-of-girlfriend. "Lanfan I have just had a revelation which I would like to share with you, provided you drop that cumbersome title for five minutes."

She inclined her head. "Of course. What is it you wish to share with me?"

Somehow, Ling could still hear the unspoken 'My Emperor'. He sighed again.

"Attending the monthly assembly has given me unique insight into the political goals of the clan leaders," he announced.

Lanfan contrived to present a wholly innocent look on her face which despite being absolutely neutral and non-judgemental, expressed the words ' _and your point is?_ '

"Managing the heads of the clans is comparable to dealing with a class full of petulant children who had not emotionally matured beyond the age of five!"

Ling was very impressed and even more irritated when, with just the raise of an eyebrow Lanfan conveyed the sentiment: _Why is this news to you? Have you been living under a rock?_

"Lanfan!" he said indignantly.

She shrugged innocently. "Surely my Emperor was aware that there was a reason for the country's constant troubles?"

"Well, yes, but I wasn't expecting it to be because the aged and revered leaders of the two largest clans are nothing but a pair of old foxes that still have a grudge over who married who's sister seventy years ago!"

Lanfan's next shrug conveyed a single, very precise concept, that in other women would have been accompanied by hands spread in helpless exasperation.

 _Men._

"Right," Ling pouted. "If you're going to be like that, I'm taking a holiday to Amestris."

Lanfan smiled. "Perhaps, my Emperor, it would be better to invite the Elrics to Xing?"

"Oh?"

"Yes. You could introduce Edward to Elders Sung and Tang."

Ling thought about this. Then he thought some more.

The horrified look on his face slowly morphed into an evil grin.

"Lanfan, you have the most splendid ideas! That is why I love you!"

"My Emperor is too kind."

"Stop that."

"As my Emperor wishes."

"Now you're just being mean."


End file.
